Grasshoppers 'n Butterflies

There seems to be an over abundance of green hopping critters around here these days, and I'm not enjoying the sight, or the sound of these guys.

The other day, there were two of them - sitting comfortably in my grassy wreath

on my front door.

And they're stunned...

maybe they are mating. I don't know.

But they sure don't move...

you'd expect them to click away as soon as we come near,

but they don't.

Pity.

We are learning to gingerly reach out to the door knob

with our arms stretched as far from our bodies as possible,

and turn the knob with a hurried, sudden motion.

Then we slowly and smoothly open the door,

so as not to disturb the mighty jumpers - cuz I don't want them in the house...that's a fact.

Next we slide gently inside the house

with our backs pressed to the farthest door jam,

and our eyes glued on the hoppers.

After that, we do a fast and fancy side step,

as we rip our eyes away and shudder

with the memory of those hopper eyes and legs and clickers,

while simultaneously smashing the side of our heel

across the bottom of the door so that it slams quickly behind us!

Eeegads!

Can't say I like 'em hanging around.
It was almost too much for me to take those pictures.

My spine was rippling and tingling with unease.

Oh, the things I'll do for my dear readers.

But now THESE...bright, yellow, paper-thin, fluttery, delicate butterflies...

I love seeing them flit from wet spot to wet spot.

Usually I'd rather not get the driveway all wet

when I water the plants,

(looks messy, you know when it's all splatted on!)

but if it brings these beauties around,

I'll spray the whole countryside down!

And to my dear daughters who ask every night...

"what's for dinner?" (Don't you just get tired of that question?)

Well, you'll just have to ignore me when I answer you so absurdly

like the other night...

when I said...

"Butterflies!"

(It was actually two raw chicken breasts stuck together in the skillet...should'a took a picture I guess...but I did see the resemblance...my daughters did not! Sorry, girls, but I do love my butterflies! along with a good laugh!)